This poem was written in sincere appreciation and admiration for the parents of disabled kids who must set aside their own expectations for their child, to speak “only of who we are, never of what we aren’t.” Their “unconditional love” is truly amazing!

I struggled for days with whether to keep "Perfect Dad" in the last line. What man could ever consider himself "perfect"? There is none perfect except God.

But this poem is not about what we see in ourselves, it is what our sons see in us. To a boy, there could never be a more "perfect" image of what it means to be a man and a Dad. A boy will understand God The Father's love because he has experienced Dad The Father's love. Many boys (with and without disabilities) never have that opportunity.

 

The Clearest Image of a Man by Rich Clingman (June, 2001)

 

I could think I’m disappointing
To a father who wanted it all:

A child to teach to ride a bike,
A boy to catch a ball.

I’ll never be the active boy,
I can’t run to get a hug.

See, I’m stuck in this, my wheelchair,
And strapped, to hold me snug.

 

Sometimes I wish for changes
To fulfill his every dream,

To be the boy he expected
When first he heard my scream.

But why don’t I see that disappointment?
Why can’t I see his broken heart?

He always talks of who we are,
Never of what we aren’t.

 

It’s not true, “Big boys never cry,”
Though he says it from time to time,

'Cause I’ve seen the tears in his eyes
As he’s wiped the tears from mine.

But never tears of pity,
Not tears for his lost dreams.

Tears to wash away my frustrations.
To calm my silent screams.

 

Last week he took me fishing
Though I’m too weak to hold the rod.

He asked me what I was wishing for.
”No wish, just thanking God.”

The clearest image of a man,
The best a boy ever had,

I see in him, in action,
It’s lived by my Perfect Dad.