The Truth Shall Set You Free—What A Crock!
                                                     by Rich Clingman

Is it true that “the truth shall set you free”? Absolutely! But it is a “crock” when it is used by hypocrites to force “facts” or “possibilities” or their own opinions as “truth”.

Somehow, with all you face in “today” and “tomorrow”, you must not loose hope in the future. Somehow you must be able to acknowledge the “facts” in your life and be able to prepare for tomorrow without getting buried in every detail. Somehow you must make today the best day for your family, not waiting to find your joys in tomorrow.

 

“Facts” are not “truth”. “Facts” tell us what has been, not the “truth” of what will be. We do not know what tomorrow may hold.

 

There is a huge difference between the “facts” about Duchenne and the “truth”. “Facts” tell us what has been, but they are not “truth”. “Truth” is what is or what will definitely come to pass.

While this may seem to be logical nitpicking, it is not. This is not simply an “emotional game” for avoiding the future. This logic is “truth” in itself. And while logic cannot give hope—for hope is a spiritual matter—grabbing hold of this logic can help keep hope alive. This logic can help to keep emotions—which rise and fall from moment to moment—from damaging hope.

 

Some well-intentioned people may demand you tell your boy every detail of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. "Tell him the truth," they insist. "If you will not, I must, because the truth will set him free." I call these people "truth" bearers. I want to encourage you to reject their demands or well-intentioned offers of full disclosure to your son, and I want to give you some logic with which to combat your own fears and anxieties.

In a moment I will speak to the fact that this "set you free" is entirely out of context, but let's first look at how this statement is hypocritically applied to justify saying anything at anytime as long as it is perceived as "truth". Second, let's challenge their "truth" about Duchenne.

 

Are “truth” bearers intellectually honest? Do they apply their need for full disclosure to the entire world or only your son? Do "truth" bearers walk up to every overweight woman and balding man and speak "truth"?

"Hey lady, you're fat and that dress is really ugly.
You need to loose weight or you're going to die!"

"Hey mister, your bald head makes you look really old,
and those 'love handles' look like you've got a Goodyear
stuck under your shirt."

Few people, even “truth” bearers, would speak these “truths”. They know it is rude and hurtful. It is total hypocrisy to not speak these "truths" and yet insist on saying, "Hey kid, you have inherited Duchenne and now you're going to end up in a wheelchair by xx years old and you'll die before you're xx years old."

 

Besides the hypocrisy, there is no "truth" in those statements about Duchenne. It is not "truth" that your boy will die before he's 20 or 30 or 40. There is no "truth" in that because we do not know what tomorrow may hold.

It is true that some boys have died at 16 or 17, but that does not make it “truth” that any other boy will die at that age. It is true there are men living with Duchenne in their early 40’s, and it is true that we do not know if a treatment or cure will be found tomorrow.

It is true that your son will die.
It is true that I will die.
It is true that you will die.
It is not "truth" that any of us will die by this age or that.

 

"But, why me?" your boy will ask.

It is true that a bad dystrophin gene is causing his weak muscles. It may even be true that he inherited the gene. But how does this information help a young boy face today or tomorrow? This is not why. The "truth": We don't know why he has weakening muscles, nor why he has weakening muscles.

Marianne, Mom of Kevin (DMD, 13) says this:

I have never had to lie to him. He did ask me at a young age about what was wrong with him, and I told him he had weak muscles and that the doctors and researchers don't know why and that they were studying it, which is not a lie because they really don't know why, because if they did there would be a cure.

 

When someone insists that you (or they) tell your son the "truth", get tough! First challenge their "truths" about Duchenne, and then challenge their honesty. If they are such "truth" bearers, insist they tell every overweight woman she's fat, every chrome-top man he's bald, because those are "truth". But before these "truth" bearers set out to attack everyone else, demand they leave your son alone because they don't have a clue about the "truth" of Duchenne.

 

It is not "truth" that your son has weak muscles because of an inherited gene. It is not "truth" because that is how his muscles got weak, not the answer to his question, "Why?"

It is not "truth" that your son will die by a certain age. It is not "truth" because we do not know what tomorrow may hold.

 

Now, besides the fact that these "truth" bearers are total hypocrites and do not know the "truth" of Duchenne, they are also blatantly misquoting Jesus Christ:

       "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.
       Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
                                           JOHN 8:31-32 NIV (emphasis added)

 Reversing His statements, Jesus says, "You will know the truth that will set you free if you are really my disciples. You are really my disciples if you hold to my teaching."

 Let me make this clear: This is a conditional promise. Jesus does not say, "All truth will set you free." He says, "If you hold to my teaching, that truth will set you free." So then, we have a choice, and if we choose to not hold to His teaching, His promise of "set you free" does not even apply. And again, Jesus does not say every "truth" will set us free. The "truth" that will set us free is His teaching, not every thought or opinion some well-intentioned "truth" bearer might discover in his puny little brain.

"Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."     MATTHEW 6:34 NIV

 That is part of Jesus' teaching. That is "truth". "Take hold of my teaching and that truth will set you free."

 One more true "truth" for the "truth" bearer:

 "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones."
                                                                                                    LUKE 17:2 NKJV

It is the parent's or guardian's responsibility to decide when and what "truth" to tell their child. Any other person who assumes that responsibility for themselves risks severely harming the child, leaving the "damage control" to the parents.

 

Is it true that “the truth shall set you free”? Absolutely! But it is a “crock” when it is used by hypocrites to force “facts” or “possibilities” or their own opinions as “truth”.

 

Should you tell your boy the "truth" about Duchenne? Absolutely! As your son asks questions, answer honestly. I love the wisdom with which these women address the "truth":

Patricia, Mom of Bob (DMD, 22) had to do "damage control":

When Bob was 10 years old, somebody at school told him that he was going to die. He came home and asked me if that was true. I told him that, yes, he was going to die, but we all will die someday and we don't know when that will be. Some people die young, others old, and some in the middle.

 Grammie Marie, of Brian (DMD, 16), puts it this way:

Have I ever told him he is going to die? NO! Has he asked? YES! The answer I gave him was, "We're all going to die and we are never told when."

 Becky, Mom of Ben (DMD, 10) and Catie (7), told her son:

     "Yes, Ben, you have weak muscles. You were born with them,
but we don't know why."
     "Yes, you will probably need a wheelchair someday."

She adds:

And death has come up (unfortunately my kids know all about that--their dad and grandpa both died when Ben was 6). My response is: We all die someday, but most people live a long time. We don't know what the future will hold.

 

There may come a time when you must tell your son the “facts” about Duchenne, or he may search and find these “facts” on his own, or some “caring person” may reveal the “facts” to him. When this happens, pound this into his brain and emotions… Demonstrate this in your daily life… Repeat this daily or hourly or moment-by-moment until it “clicks”, and then repeat it some more:

“Facts” are not “truth”. “Facts” tell us what has been, not the “truth” of what will be. We do not know what tomorrow may hold.

This article is from Living For Today, Preparing For Tomorrow. From Parents. To Parents. A Parent's Guide to Living with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy

This book is dedicated to the parents and guardians who battle against their worries, who must prepare for tomorrow and yet grab hold of today, striving to make today the best day for their children and family.

 "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."     MATTHEW 6:34 NIV

© Copyright 2001-2002, Rich Clingman, All Rights Reserved - www.LivingForToday.org/copyright.htm
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